Why Haven’t Free Staters Thanked New Hampshire Tax Payers Yet?

Here’s a truly cringe-worthy video of the Free State Project president Carla Gericke promoting the Free State Project to hopefuls in a near empty auditorium in Tampa.  Obviously the real event had long left, leaving the stage flanked with garbantuan ceiling to floor banner and another hanging from the stage canopy  “Thank you Dr. Paul” that oddly dwarfed the FSP missionary.

Like the dumb girl everyone has had to suffer against their will at least once in their life, Gerike rambled painfully ad-hoc for twenty minutes.  One would think standing on a stage representing something as important as the divine religious that is the Free State Project, they’d have a prepared speech.  Not a rambling conversation with themselves, complete with giggles and a level of intellectual discourse usually the domain of those who count the BFF’s and probably have a pink bed skirt and matching canopy over their bed.

But alas, unlike a teenager, we can’t tell her to just go home.  She calls our home home.  She also won’t stop with the idea of inviting all her weird friends to come to our home, hang out and party and let the adults suffer the bill.

What would a Liberty Fest be without mentioning New Hampshire with that license plate that has John Stark’s famous proclamation, “Live free or die!”  Yes, New Hampshire, the last hold-out, she doesn’t have to tell us, for white skinned, red blooded patriot.  We already know when she complains of the molestation she almost suffered at the hands of the “turnee” totalitarianism that is the TSA and having her boarding pass stamped “SS” for her refusal to submit to an X-ray scan. The body scan that as we know has caused countless loss of life and suffering across this great nation.   “Take that Travon Martin and Rodney King”, screamed the white privilege on the stage.

But Gerike acknowledges that her suffering pales in comparison to the CopBlock martyrs, led by an Austrian Economics “School of Humanism” led by the gentle, soft-hearted  entrepreneur know as David Koch.   This group suffers in the gulag commonly known as the Valley Street jail, built in the dark ages of 1990’s and staffed by ruthless thugs that eak out daily abuse in the form crappy cafeteria style food, hard beds and limited internet access.

The group that as Gerike states suffered their fate for “cameraing”.  Which to the uninitiated means obnoxiously pointing your cell phone camera at a cop while yelling that you’ve got rights and refusing to quiet down so the cop can figure out what the hell you’re so excited about so he/she can calm you down and get back to inputting the one accident report of the week.  Which behavior usually ends up in arrest for resisting said arrest when the Fine Patriot fails to respect a simple request to STFU for a minute.  Or spending countless hours engaging in petty deviations of behavior, ignoring court summonses which climaxes to the final outrage of being pursued by a hapless small town cop trying to serve you a summons as you skillfully avoid the cop with your bike.  Meet the poser martyr.

Now for the Free State philosophy and why they chose New Hampshire besides just the no-tax illusion.  New Hampshire is the Live free or Die state.  Yes, she did go there; to a license plate.   Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of about John Stark and I’m beginning to wish he had kept his mouth shut and just marched on instead.  Because all of us who’ve lived in New Hampshire awhile get a little tired of the reduction of this gallant shout of a man leading himself and his followers into probable death, to the singular jingo for people who want escape paying their fair for a decent society.  John Stark and his soldiers risked their lives for this country.  Free Staters don’t want to risk even a dollar.

As if the Free State movement, was founded by a computer geek in the 90’s who grabbed onto Libertarianism  through chat room education,  rose up through the computers of the nation and declared their right to live in mom’s basement, watch anime videos, jack off at will and not take out the trash like 4evah!

Now take a minute and put yourself in the shoes of the Freedom Lover. This generation grew up and in strong defiance of the oppressive forces of having mom nag you about the rent, nag about shared responsibility (socialism) to the household, even though you told them repeatedly that you game with the lights off, buy your own food at the 7-11, shower only once a week and hell you didn’t tell them to take that trip to Vegas. They remember that time mom told you that you had to go to your sister’s wedding and they expected you to bring a gift and as a result ten of your porn accounts were shut down for non-payment and you had to pass on your buddy’s killer weed.

Suddenly a light came on and you went on a chatroom.  You talked with your kindred spirits, shared links to famous quotes of Ayn Rand and dreamed of a utopia where no one would take from you, no one would tell you where you had to put your hard-earned money.   A place where your vast talents would find appreciation.  You made a web-page and fashioned the manifesto of the Free State.  You furtively looked for states where no one will mandate you to pay up or get grounded.  Then looking, there you found it! the “Live Free or Die” state.

As time goes on you find that you get pretty popular, it is clear to the world that your websites and truth speaking inspire not only your generation but an entire cross-section of old white men.  The most oppressed species on this planet, the white male suffers daily scorn from demanding people (usually mom) trying to take from you what is rightfully just yours.  Remember the time water heater broke, flooded the floor and ruined you comic book collection? Yeah and she had the nerve to ask you for rent that month; and when you demanded an accounting of how your past rent payments were invested in infrastructure, they laughed at you.

Now that you get the picture, let’s revisit Gerike and pick up a couple interesting nuggets of her wisdom. Seems a shame to let such go wasted on a bunch of metal chairs and then get lost in the cavernous depths of the Youtube catalog.  Remember mom and the basement and her poor fiscal responsibility, lack of accounting and general disregard for your precious property?

Suffer no more the infractions to your liberty that the nanny state imposes upon you.  Come to New Hampshire. It will be better than the month of living under the bridge down the street from mom’s house, mom said you’ll learn someday to be responsible and you realized its not your lack of responsibility its everyone else’s.

Gerike bragged of the fact that New Hampshire has a few towns up north that have no property taxes and like she said, in a state where the only tax on individuals is a property tax (not counting the rooms and meals tax, the business tax, the dividends and interest tax, the gasoline tax, federal taxes and high fees for government services that manage to exist).  Utopia, just like when you lived under the bridge, ah the free life!  No responsibilities, no taxes and definitely no nanny state yelling at you behind the door to pay up.

As if viewing her onstage wasn’t bad enough, we get a clue of how the possible experience of meeting her face to fade.  Properly not assuming that her audience has an intelligence beyond first grade, Gerike reminded that the state at nearly the northern most point of the country has a this annoying thing called cold.  Just imagine, you are stuck sitting next to Gerike on your flight to Tampa.  You wanted to see the convention, visit a casino and the beach and then go home.  You want some quiet time on the plane. Sitting next to you is a chatty woman who wants immediately to talk about her home state.  Then you notice she’s on a mission and is trying to pull you in.  Like an Amway salesman, you want to get that target off your back and shut her up.  So you say, oh, I’d never go there, its so cold! .

But she’s ready for you and now you must hear your new unwanted friend explain, ““Why is it so cold? Well…its because, well let’s say two things. One is,if global warming were true and Al Gore were right which I highly doubt he is, but lets say he is, its going to be pretty awesome to live up here in ten year’s time. Otherwise, you know we do have technology and we do have heaters and all those things.”

Now you have to think of another excuse, this one isn’t going to let go easy.  She goes on and then you remind her, grabbing your ear plugs and rolling them in your fingers wishing you could stick them somewhere, anywhere to shut her up, “Oh, yeah I have a job here and I actually like it here.”

Nonplussed, she proffers that you can live in New Hampshire part-time. Some outside observers may find part-time Free Staterism a bit disingenuous, but moral relativism never had a friend like the pursuers of  liberty.   Even if you have to pay into the evil government, keep your job as a public university professor or stay another fifteen years to get your union pension, no worries, your cabin up on Lot 39 in New Hampshire allows you two weeks (three if you are an oppressed union member) to shoot empty beer cans, tear up the flora in your four wheeler and then as always, leave the mess behind for the evil state government to pick up — if they find it – ha!

The esteemed president failed to mention that the trek to New Hampshire will require one to submit to the oppressive tyranny that is the federally and state funded highway system.  She also failed to suggest that in this summer season when highway repair is always at a peak across the country, new Liberty Lovers eager to prove their worthiness could offer their labor to the construction companies for free to decrease the tax burden on states.  Send those union rats home!  The revolution has to start somewhere.  Now go ahead and call me an Agorist purist, but the opportunity to come together as individuals and prove voluntarism just seems a gimme opportunity.

Imagine the possibilities, the liberty lovers could defy the rule of arbitrary law by camping on the highway.  Although, this may result in loss of life, the over all brilliance will shine through.  No doubt, federal and state laws just inhibit creative growth, safety management is for sissies and so is the currency system.  Which reminds of more possibilities; fashioning currency out of crumbled concrete and asphalt to trade amongst each other for food, water and sanitary facilities.  Call it Asphshire or possibly Crete Bits.  No doubt neighboring communities will want to participate in this creative and new thinking.  Even if they are all only six years old.

Gerike moves on the great legislative achievements of the Free State Project’s non-member members.  Of note was the claim Gerike made about the legislative activities that happened under the state house.  We won’t take them apart singularly, but will mention that one doesn’t save a dime when they cut services, shift money around and waste countless hours and dollars printing the bills that carried the furtive fantasies of immigrants swimming in their own liberty juice.  Bills that died an unnatural death by abortion from the legislative discourse, discarded shamelessly in a committee room trashcan.   Take heed; we in New Hampshire know what happens when the Tea Baggers get together with the Free Staters and share the crack pipe and have a computer nearby.  A baby ensues and someone has to step in and be responsible, lest we all be left to heal the damage done to the twisted wreckage of the democratic process.

Oh and remember mom and her demands about following rules and paying rent or the time when you got with weed and you said it was just Oregano you were bringing to your girlfriend for her cooking, or remember when you got out of grounding by making the case that this time the rules don’t apply?

Don’t worry Gerike points out, you can have your cake and eat it too. Not only can you not pay taxes up north, but you might want to practice your martyrdom and not pay them anywhere you live in New Hampshire.  Now the courts might drag you or one of your buddies in to demand you pay up your fair share. But worry not, thanks to jury nullification in FreeStateTopia, no wants to pay taxes either and the jury of your peers (of course) will tell the judge he’s an idiot and be home in time to strap on your favorite Glock for the Libertarian anti-war rally.

Now imagine, the goal of the FSP consists of the not only a pledge of allegiance that is signed online that according to leading Free State sympathetic politicians doesn’t exist and the stated goal to colonize the state of New Hampshire.  Said colonization will take place by herding themselves together; the collective of individuals who hate collectives, to work their way into government on all levels, with the sole purpose of destroying it.

Thankfully, due in most part to the realism, tenacity and responsible behavior of the majority of New Hampshire residents, this hasn’t occurred on any real level.  It seems by watching how eagerly Free State Project adherents and sympathizers chose a state that already had infrastructure such as roads, police man, fire fighters, public education and the convenience of grocery stores and malls, that none so far have demonstrated any will to embark on creating their stateless dream.  Also thankfully due to this last legislative session, more and more people have become aware of these people and their oddball ideas.

Although they manage to get a few of the ignorant to stick to them like metal shavings to a magnet, most people steer clear of them.  But like any pestilence, one has to fight it on all fronts.  Many of us here in New Hampshire intend to do just that, fighting them back, exposing them to the light and cleaning up the ignorance that attracts them.

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5 thoughts on “Why Haven’t Free Staters Thanked New Hampshire Tax Payers Yet?

  1. ‎”She calls our home home.”

    That’s funny. I didn’t think the town of New Hampshire was owned by the progressives there and they were the ones who could rightfully dole out feelings of attachment to the place.

    • Certainly native and non-native New Hampshire residents who identify themselves as progressive also could rightfully dole out feelings of attachment to the place. We tend to feel our attachments though have more to do with family and community and not just some idealization about not wanting to pay taxes.

      • Julia says:

        “We tend to feel our attachments though have more to do with family and community and not just some idealization about not wanting to pay taxes.”

        That’s a pretty good way of explaining it. I’m often asked by free staters about the difference between “colonialism” and “immigration”, and why I view the FSP as the former as opposed to just the latter. The answer should be rather straightforward: colonists come with a gun and a straight-up political agenda. The immigrants and refugees who come to NH do not move with the desire to take control of NH’s political and economic system and turn it into something based on their own naive idealism.

  2. I mean, would you describe yourself as a New Hampshire nativist?

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